I love my letter carrier. She is actually one of the highlights, if not, my only highlight in Aisulov County. Where is Aisulov County? If “nirvana” is described as, “the perfect state of mind that is free from craving, anger, and other afflicting states,” (thank you dictionary.com) then by all means I do not live in Nirvana. I live in the anti-nirvana.

Anyway, getting back to my letter carrier. Love her dearly but seriously would it hurt to deliver good news once in a while? I mean after we chat and catch up on the neighborhood gossip (which takes all of 3 minutes because my neighbors are far and few in between) she leaves and I then proceed to open and look through my mail. The same usual suspects: insurance bill, electric bill, water bill, credit card bill, you-are-taking-in-too-much-air-when-you-breathe bill. Give me a break! Why can’t it ever be a “we overcharged you on your last bill so here’s a refund” type of statement? No! What I get is (this is a true letter that I got in the mail, paraphrased, of course):

Dear Ms. Poure:

First of all, we would like to say how much we value your business. It is because of you that we are still around.

Unfortunately, upon reviewing your last statement, we noticed that we made a mistake in the amount that is due. Don’t get excited now, the mistake is in our favor. We did not charge the correct amount. We actually undercharged you. Oh, life is funny that way! Anyway this is the difference. Please pay by so and so date so you will not accrue any more outstanding charges.

And once again, thank you for your money business.

Golden Parachute

Dephicit says:
I love how the bank messes up and suddenly YOU are under the gun to get them the “missing” money in 48 hours. All you did was pay what they tell you. And on time too!!!!!

This reminds me of the time at work when the payroll clerk (oops!) deposited my wages into the wrong person’s account. And then I got reprimanded for acting “stressed” and bumming everyone else out! I’m sorry, was I supposed to be dancing while thinking about the fact that I now have no money to pay my bills? Oops, my bad!

It seems like the people with the money always have the power, even when it’s your money!

P.S. Will the person who received my $556 in their bank account please return it asap. Please have it to me by three days ago or there will be a 35.00 late fee assessed. I realize this is completely not your fault and that you don’t even work for the same company as me, but I am unable to discuss this further. Please call (888) FIND ME1 for a recorded message that will be of no help whatsover.