Been studying so hard, really resenting it. Especially that stupid professor who gives us all of that extra reading to do AND a final project. Yo, lady, can’t you pick one or the other? It’s not like we have all day to work on just your stuff. We all have other classes, plus our outside “projects” — like food and laundry! It’s not like we’re 19 and can go get dinner in the dorm cafeteria. Someone’s gotta do the shopping around here.
That’s all the bitter negativity that was running through my head the other day when I was struggling to cram it all into my overloaded brain and still I wanted to have 10 minutes of a weekend to pretend I have a life.
Suddenly the grown up me had a little talk with the childish me. I said, “Are we doing this or are we not doing this? Because you do not HAVE to study this subject. You are perfectly capable of getting and keeping a low paying job for the rest of your life. Which is exactly what you will be doing if you continue to decide that it’s more important to watch some spoiled athletes run around on a field than to study your chosen subject.
You are doing this because you have been SUPPOSED to win the lottery for about 18 years now and the person pulling the numbers STILL has not gotten the message. So if you ever want a chance of owning a nice house, a boat, a pair of Christian-freakin’ Loubitans, then get your nose off that TV screen glass and back in the book.”
I made myself realize that the “evil” professor was not making me do anything. I was the one who had chosen to go back to school. In fact I really didn’t need to study all of those chapters and to put all of that effort into my final project. I really knew enough to fake it and slide by with a B. Of course my chances of landing and keeping a decent job if I did that would be lower than pulling the big six in the Megamillions (which I WILL do someday, damn it!!). No, I played that game the first time around in college and look where it got me — right back in school years later.
Once I realized that I was doing this for me, not my professor, my attitude shot right up. Let’s hope my grades follow! Because this time I am getting an education for the benefit of me – me and my future paycheck!!!